mahlife

SenTi MoDE

2005-07-19T06:01:00.000-07:00

~0~ I'm not ashamed of the things that I dreamI found my self flirting with the verge of obsceneInto the unknown I will be bold I'm going to places I can be out of control ~0~

Too many dreams have been shattered around usIf I seem to give up they'll still never win Deep in my heart I know the strength is within Watching the others chances drift byThey'll never discover these feelings I hide Deep inside I'm falling apart All alone with a broken heart Thinking in silence is all they allow These words still unspoken may never be found All these dreams one day will be mine

If loving you is all that means to me

When being happy is all I hope you'd be

Then loving you must mean

I really have to set you free

Letting go is not an easy task

When smiling feels like

I must wear this lonely mask

It hurts deep inside And I just cannot hideT

hat there's anguish at the thought

That we should have to part

Just once I want to understandWhy it always come back to good-byeWhy can't we get ourselves in handAnd admit to one anotherThat we're no good without the otherTake the best and make it betterFind a way to stay togetherLife is a journeyIt can take you anywhere you choose to goAs long as you're learningYou'll find all you'll ever need to know

Take me as you are, Push me off the road the sadness,

I need this time to be with you I

'm freezing in the sun; I'm burning in the rain

The silence; I'm screaming, Calling out your name.

And i do reside in your light

Put out the fire with me and

find Yeah you'll lose the side of your circles

That's what i'll do if we say goodbye.

To be is all i gotta be

And all that i see

And all that i need this time

To me the life you gave me T

he day you said goodnight.

dEeP inside IM fiLIn BluE

2005-07-19T05:22:00.000-07:00

I Love mY frEnDS…I lOve Dem so mUCH dAt I AlwaYS wAnT dEm 2 BE hAppY aND I’Ll bE wiD dEM thru thiCk anD thin. I’vE bcOMe sO open 2 Dem cOz I tRuST DeM a lOt. I kept thEiR sECreTS aNd mAkE sure daT nObOdy wiL hURt dEM. iM AlWaYS dER WenEVEr dEY nID me… EvEn iF dey’R sO faR AwaY I mAdE sURe daT iL bE a cOl AwaY. I HaTE seeIn’ Dem crY, SufFER, aND beiN hurt bY dA onE dEy lOvE… FReNDs iS mORE ImpOrtAnt daN bOyfrEnDS. DeY mAkE u SmyL, CRY aNd sHaRE wId uR pAinS. iT dOEsn’t MaTTeR iF UR sO faR aWAy fRoM EaCH oDER aS long AS u kNOW DaT iN uR hEaRT DEy’Ll bE stAyiN’ . thEiR wOrDS oF EnCOurAGEmEnT mEAnS a LOT 2 u. DEY Try DEiR BEsT aND bE da BEsT deY cAn bE 4 U 2 bE happy. I lOVE Dem 4 Hu dEY aRE aND 4 WAt deY really aRE… DEy dOn’t HaVE 2 PRetEnD huZ 2 bE wiD me. OL I niD iS a ReaL freND sum1 I cAN rely oN, sum1 DAT wiL pUlL mE uP, sum1 I caN crY wiD, sum1 Hu’LL sTaY by mY syD even My wORLD falls aPArt. I jUZ want a FRenD hu’s TRuE aND lOVe me 4 hU I REallY am. Sum1 hU woNT mAKE a waY 4 mE 2 stUmbLE aND fAlL wid NO one 2 cATcH me. Sum1 HU woNT LoOK aT mY fAuLTs . aND I gUESs I FinaLLY FOunD da FreND daT I’ve BeEn LOokIN 4… sUm1 hU wiL bE faithful 2 me aND wiL aLWaYS be wiD me… I fOuNd mY bESTfREND in YOU..

I kNOW I mADe a vOW… dAt I wIL NEvER lET a PersON bRIng mE down. iLL STAnD sTiLL no mAttER waT. aND il MakE sURE daT U cAn nEVER eVER lET mE crY… NOT anymore… HE tHoT mE 2 bEliEVE iN myself..

“AnG mGA tAONg CniCrAAn aY kina iinGitAN…”
“DER wiL always bE a BetTEr aND lESSeR person 2 u”
“noW I know kuNG cNO aNG freND SA FRetEndING-frEND-daW”

I don't want to explain tonight all the things I tried to hide I shut myself off from the world so I can draw the blinds And I'll teach myself to flyI love myself its not a sin I cant control what's happenin”

When you're safe inside your room you tend to dream

Of a place where nothing's harder than it seems

No one ever wants or bothers to explain

Of the heartache life can bring and what it means

When there's no one else

Look inside yourselfLike your oldest friend

Just trust the voice within

Then you'll find the strength

That will guide your wayIf you will learn to begin

T o trust the voice withinYoung girl, don't hide

You'll never change if you just run away

Y oung girl, just hold tight

And soon you're gonna see your brighter day

the way i feel

2005-07-17T06:09:00.000-07:00

Habang tumatagal at lumilipas ang mga taon unti unti ko ng naiintindihan ang mga bagay bagay sa buhay. Dati nung bata pa ako ang mahalaga lang sakin mommy q, daddy q, kapatid q at ang evry Sunday shopping namen… syempre pati ang yaya q dahil sa knya nangarpa ako ng mga kung ano ano… gaya ng gs2 kong maging labandera dahil sabi nya pag binasa at bumula ang damit bibigyan ka ng pera… tpos metro aide ksi walis lang daw pera nah. Yun ang tumatak sa isip q hehehe kala nga ng mommy q un lang tlga ang gs2 kong mangyari sa buhay q pero syempre natuwa cya wen I sed I wanted 2 be an accnt juz lyk my mom and my dad… sbi ng mga clas8 q baket un pah?! Sbi q kz gs2 q lng… gs2 q tlga un khit sbhn p nila n gngya q lng ang mommy q at daddy q I don’t care and I wouldn’t even dare 2 care as long as I want it. Il make sure im goin’ 2 have it. So ayun, ang dami q ng nauunawaan ngayon… at and dami ko na ding nakikilalang mga tao… syempre kahet hnd mo gs2 na makilala cla if tinakda ni God na magkakilala kayo mangyayari’t mangyayari yun. Pero sa 22o lang sa dami ng natutunan q may isang bgay aqng pinagccchan ANG PAGTATAGO NG TUNAY NA NARARAMDAMAN. Ung mga tao kz na nakapaligid saken hnd cla sanay ng nakikita qng malungkot kaya ayun lagi lang akong mag isa pag may problema. Kahet hirap na hirap na q, mag isa pa rin aq pag may problema. Ang tanging nakakakita lang ng kalungkutan q ay ang 4 na sulok ng room q. nwei gs2 q ng isa isahin ang mga nararamdaman q ngyon.

SA FAMILY

Masaya aq kz habang tumatagal mas nagiging close kames a family namen mas naiintindihan q na ang do’s ang don’t’s ng mom q.
kahet gano kame mag away ng dad q we'll always end up syaing sorry 2 each oder and ngayon i can tell dem how i really fil naiintindihan nila q.
my mom is always der 2 guide me and she cares 4 me a lot dat she wud always txt me and she open 2 me.
sa teenage life q dun q lang nakitang umiyak ang mom q tpos nabigla n lng aq kz dati ung mga frends q lang ung hinuhug q pag umiiyak tpos ngyon mommy q na ang umiiyak saken.
i pity my mom 4 havin those problems in lyf... how i wish i cud take away all da pain and misery dat she's been undergoin thru. she had lots of problems coz der r sum pipol who wud always seek her help financially ung tipong cya lang lagi ang tinatakbuhan... parang hnd na nahiya kz diba alm mo un HND nmn nagbabayaD! damN tlga. pero hanga din aq sa mom q kz naghihirap cyang mag work 4 us at da same tym tumutulong cya s iba khet di cya binabayaran ng mga amp umuutang sa knya! langya tlga kapal ehh kianis!
i wud always luk up 2 my mom and now as i grw old i realize how much my family mean 2 me. i know how dey really love me and i know dat dey wil always be der 4 me no matter wat..

SA FRENDS

dami din aqng nakilalang mga taong naging part na ng buhay q... sa school, sa streetdance, sa tabi tabi at d2 sa village.
pero lahat ng tao may kanya kanyang ugali at pananaw sa buhay. pero alam mo ba minsan ung mga taong kinaiinisan q pah ung 2mutulong saken. ung mga sinasabi qng fwends q pa ung nagbabagsak saken.
gaya nlng s skul minsan di mo alam qng ano ehh parang pinaplastik k nlng. lalapit lang sau pagkailanagan kah or watsoever.
diba pag sinabi mong frends andyan lang para sau... aq khet gano aq ka bc i stil txt or call my frends pero minsan tlga... masasabi mo rin nah... Bakit pag cla may kailangan andyan ka alng lgi.. pag ikaw na ang may kailanagan khit isa s knila di mo mahagilap...
the only person i cantrust now is myself..
dey made me become bitter and a bit cynical... i didnt want 2 be like dis lalo na ngyong skul year but come to think of it... nakangiti lang aq lagi but sum of my so-called-dear frends had brought me great pain and suffering! sum of u are so pretentitious... sum doesnt even care khet ilang tao pa ang masaktan...
bestfrends q lang ang tlagang maasahan q... kaya tenk u sa mga bestfrend q..
syempre kung may mga masamang kaibigan andyan din ung mga mabubuti frends at cgurado akong mapagkakatiwalaa q tlga..

sana magbago na ung ibang tao... sna wag lang nilang isispin ung pangsarili nilang kabutihan... masama kasi un ehh... hindi pa koh nagagalit ng todo kya please dont even dare to provoke me... please... baka kz magsisis kau. mabaet aq sa mabaet pero malapit na qng dumating sa boiling point kya umayos ung mga dapat umayos ahh...alam ko ngayong year natuto na qng lumaban pero sumobra kz ayokong makikita aqng umiiyak... ang i wil never ever cry anymore... never!!! i wil never give up hanggat hindi ko nakukuha ang gs2 q! tenk u sa mga taong plastik at sarcastic kz nilabas nyo ang darker side koh... lahat ksi ng kabutihan may hangganan kya sana wag nyo abusin. baka mangyari din ksi toh sa inyo... you're JUZ makin me stronger as ever...

Mariah Carey - Can't Take That Away

They can say anything they want to say

Try to bring me down

But I will not allow Anyone to succeed

Hanging clouds over And they can try hard to make me feel

That I don't matter at all

But I refuse to falter In what I believe Or lose faith in my dreams

CHORUS:' Cause there's a light in me

That shines brightly They can try

But they can't take that away from me....From me

They can do anything they want to do

If you let them in But they won't ever win

If you cling to your pride

And just push them aside

SeeI have learned there's an inner peace I own

Something in my soul

That they cannot possess So I won't be afraid

And darkness will fade

'Cause there's a light in me

That shines brightlyThey can tryBut they can't take that away from me

NoThey can't take this

Precious love I'll always have inside me

Certainly the Lord will guide me Where I need to go

They can say anything they want to say Try to break me down

But I won't face the ground

I will rise steadily

Sailing out of their reach Oh Lord

They do try hard to make me feelThat I don't matter at all

But I refuse to falterIn what I believeOr lose faith in my dreams

CHORUS

why did u make me hate you?

2005-06-27T21:17:00.000-07:00

kala ko ok nah...

kala koh nagbago k na nga tlga...

sbi mo mhal mo q, sbi mo pa nga mhal na mhal mo q...

na gudboy kn tlga at aq lng ang gurl sa lyf moh...

msaya aq sau ksi mhal kita... mhl n mhl...

kya lht ng cnsbi mo pinaniniwalaan q kht ngmumukha n qng tanga...

dme nmn iba dyan bket ikw pah... mdame nmang ngmmhal saken bkt sau pa...

gnyan ba tlga?! pag playgurl ka... seseryosohin kah... pag StiCK-to-one kah gagaguhin kah?

ano b tlga?! alam mo ba dti ayw q nah ksi niloko mo lang akoh... masaket pero binale wala ko

di nmn ksi aq nagtatanim ng sama ng loob ehh... (maRtYR tlga q)

iba tlga pag mahal mo ung tao... la ng PriDE na natitira...

kala ko tlga ngbgo kn... pero ngyn mas lalo mo lang akong nasasaktan... tenk u...

cguro oras na rin para AQ NMN ANG SUMAYA.... tama na ren ung saket na naranasan q

dahil minahal kita...sana ung papalit sau hnd ka gayahin... sana di na q masaktan ulet...

sna pagbumalik k skin aq parin ung taong nagpapaka martyr sau...SANA...

pero sa tingin q... hindi na... msyado na aqng nasaktan... pagod na q...pagod na pagod...

salamat dahil tinuruan mo qng magmahal ng sobra... salamat ksi alam q na kung pno magmahal ng walang kapalit...

salamat sa mga araw na pinasaya mo q, sa pagsama mo saken kht sandali, sa pagtitiis mo sa pagiging spoiled brat q...

salamt dahil ngyon hnd q na hahayaang masaktan pa akoh ng khit cno... lalo na ng katulad moh...

sana hindi na kita mahalin ulet ayaw q na kasing masaktan...

school, new account and friends

2005-06-26T12:00:00.000-07:00

SchooL

einstein 4 na q dapat pero na transfer aq sa edison-IV i miss na my frends in einstein pero edison na q.
kakasad ksi ung mga naiwan kong groupings aq leader! ahhh...
il miss da community service n tlgang well planned na nmen
il miss my teachers lalo n si ms. alvarez...
saya nmn sa edison pero u knw... orig einstein n q. hirap pa mag adjust ksi 3 weeks n tpos dun lng nglipat. kakasad tlga...
research project pa nmen.... awww
il miss em din lalo na si jowie, jen and cata. pti cla papa shaq (bolpen q heheheh)

FRiends

mis q na si bestfrend Grace q. college na ksi ikw kya busi kn din layo pa MCU
miss q n cla kai and pims...
dame n din me frends hir sa village... hay i fil so sad...

FRIENDSTER

ilovepink_17@yahoo.com.ph is my new account ksi dmeng taong nag aadd na di q kilala kya dis account is exclusively 4 my frends only...

sportsfest, alex and bryan

2005-04-05T05:25:00.000-07:00

7am ang sportsfest ngyon ang medyo nakakatense. fleming-3 ang kalaban namin sa volleyball and einstein-3 nman sa basketball. hmmm... ano kyang mangyayari ksi magkalaban cla joshua and daryl sa basketball. la lng, dti ksi lakas ng team nmin nung 2nd yr. in volleyball nmn sna Lord wil guide and bless us pra manalo kme. jeremy, airon, alfredo, jp, amor and me wil be da 1st six. hay tense tlga den i had a sprain p kgbi (damn! tanga koh natapilok akoh sa stairs nmen kung kelan may volleyball) hmmm ang saya ko khpon! i was in sunken garden da usual place na pipupuntahan koh wen i juz wanna be alone. yun nga lng i was wid bryan. hmmm he was a good man with a kind heart and well a cute face too. ul have fun being wid him though medyo quiet cya. he's so sweet, gentle and caring! tlgang ma fafall k s knya (but hmmm not me coz bsta...) and i saw alex din yesterday he was about to ride in fx den i txted him kakatuwa nga ehh he was wondering how did i knw n he was abt 2 ride in the fx. pero he looks so much like a gangster naka UNDERCUt. nwei dats him... (a real gangster) but though he's a gangster he is soOO sweet! i really miss dis guy n nga ehh but den wer both busy so la na ding tym... hmmm if he was not a playboy cguro swerte gf nya.. BACK SA SPORTSFEST... hmmm wish me luck. got dis damn sprained foot argh! and den no practice at all sana magawa koh ulit ung 8 straight service koh para no problem nah... hay LORD bLess us and help us... ayun comment?

my birthday

2005-03-21T23:38:00.000-08:00

ei der u know wat? i had fun during my birthday kanina, dameng nag grit sakin thou im not expecting it and dme din gifts kso sayang ung mga flowers ehh ksi nagwilt. i ate wid my frends sa canteen and gues wat? kulang samin ung spag. pero im happy ap din ksi kht kulang tlgang nagshare pa din kme tpos im SWEET16 nah, la lng im old enough to take things slowly. ayun saya tlga kso medyo tired na koh ehh... kaya im gonna sleep nah... sna di k nlng 2mwg coz u really made me cry ngyon... tenks ahhh di mo n nga naalala pinaiyak mo pa koh...

i hate you

2005-03-20T06:18:00.000-08:00

damn! you know wat? tagal na din nating di nag uusap. and i really miss you, kagabi i feel so pathetic 4 calling you! sna i didnt called u up. ur sister 2ld ma na u dnt wanna talk 2 me and yet u let me heard u saying "akin n yan" i dunno wat really happened 2 us... we used 2 be the sweetest couple ever, pero dahil lng sa damn! na computer games nwala kah! sna bukas khit pno maalala mo man lang akong i greet.... bakit ba ang immature mo? u let me slip away from you. lahat na binigay ko para lng sau, i even cut class juz 2 see u... i made everybody loved you... and wen dey already do, u left... der is no "US" anymore... i already did everything i can juz 2 save r relationship but its going 2 far from wat i wanted it 2 be.... everynyt i wud cry coz everything i do and evrything dat i see reminds me of u, i learned 2 love myself but i juz cant let u go... i dunno if i can still look back if i made my final decision. i dnt knw if i wud stil be able 2 love u back if u come 2 me... i guess il let u go...

bday koh but den im cry...

1st day ng final exam koh

2005-03-17T06:11:00.000-08:00

god! di pa koh masyadong nakakapag aral kahit alam kong finals na toh... ksi kahapon i have to go pa kay kuya's bday party his dad is sa mabait but i really have to go... his dad kip on insisting dat i shud eat first but kht i really wanna eat i just cant because of my exam. hahaha! damn! la pa koh ma say ngyn ehh